ENDING A RELATIONSHIP

I would like to end my relationship; what do I do next?

To begin divorce proceedings, or dissolution if you are in a civil partnership, there are certain criteria which must be met before you can legally start the process.  Firstly you must have been married or in a civil partnership for at least one year and secondly you must  be able to show that your marriage or civil partnership has irretrievably broken down in one of the following ways:

-You can do this by proving that your husband/wife has committed adultery (not included for civil partners)
-Your husband/wife has behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with them
-Your husband/wife has deserted you for 2 or more years
-You have lived apart for a continuous period of 2 or more years and you both agree to the divorce
- If you do not both agree to the divorce, you have lived apart for more than 5 years

Divorce or dissolution of a civil partnership is a huge step and you will naturally wish to take stock of all your options. We offer all of our clients a free first meeting, so that you can talk over your choices face-to-face with your solicitor and make an informed decision as to the best way to proceed.

Is there an alternative to going to court?

A quicker and cheaper settlement is more likely if you and your partner are able to resolve issues amicably. It may be more appropriate for you both to consider a procedure called collaborative practice, which avoids court involvement. You could also consider mediation which involves meeting with a qualified family mediator, coupled with the support of your solicitor, with the aim of negotiating an agreed settlement.

What exactly is collaborative practice?

Collaborative practice is a relatively new way for divorcing or separating couples to work together with the help of trained collaborative lawyers, to resolve disputes respectfully without going to court.

In practical terms, what happens is each person appoints their own specialist collaboratively trained lawyer and negotiations take place in a series of four-way ‘face-to-face’ meetings with the aim of reaching an agreed settlement. Each of you will have your lawyer by your side throughout the process, which means you will have their support and legal advice as you go. You and your partner also remain in control of the process at all times. Once an agreement is reached, your lawyers will put it into effect. The divorce can be finalised and a Consent Order sent to the court for approval.

If you go down the route of collaborative practice, you can be assured that your collaborative lawyer will be dedicated to helping you find the best solutions by agreement, rather than through the court system. Collaborative lawyers sign an agreement with you that disqualifies them from representing you in court if the collaborative process breaks down.

Collaborative practice does not always have to take place at the end of a relationship. It can also be used in other situations where round table negotiation may help, such as when discussing the terms of a prenuptial agreement.

What if I am not ready to divorce/dissolve my civil partnership?

As a separating couple you may not wish legally to terminate your relationship, or may not have grounds to do so.  If you find yourself in this situation, there are options available and we can help you with those.

One option is entering into a ‘separation agreement’. This allows you and your partner to draw up a binding document with your solicitors, which will set out your financial responsibilities, and arrangements regarding your property and your children. This can all take place without having to go to court. If you feel that it could be difficult to reach a settlement, you can seek help through mediation, collaborative practice or more conventional negotiations between solicitors on your behalf.

Another option is a ‘judicial separation’ or a ‘separation order’ for civil partners. This is rarely used these days, but remains an option if you object to divorce, perhaps for moral or religious reasons. With a judicial separation you remain legally married, but no longer have the same responsibilities to each other. The procedure is much the same as the divorce process and the issues are very similar. 

What about the house and other property?

For most people, the property they will need to consider in the context of a divorce or separation will be the family home.  Whilst the family property is often held by a husband and wife in joint names, an equal split of the value is not always the appropriate outcome. 

In each case, we need to look at the housing needs of you and your partner, and the needs of your children. Your property will also need to be considered in the context of other assets, such as pensions or business interests. If you have more than one property, for example a holiday cottage, a rental portfolio or an overseas property, again these properties usually form part of a bigger picture.

Normally the courts look to provide a home for children until they are 18. This might mean that if you cannot buy two separate homes from the proceeds of the house sale, then the parent who will look after the children will stay in the home with them until they are 18.

If there is sufficient value to provide a home for the children and to release some capital, then the court could potentially order the sale of the home, but there are a host of other factors (such as contributions to the assets, ages of the children, earning capacities  and so on) that are taken into account.

What about pensions?

After the family home, a person’s pension fund is usually their biggest financial investment.  Pensions are growing in prominence with concerns over dwindling state provision, but this can be a complex and tricky aspect of a settlement.

When looking at pensions in your settlement, we will talk though the various options available to you. We will often recommend the involvement of a specially qualified financial adviser or an expert known as an ‘Actuary’ to help to compare values and to provide advice on the proportion of the pension to be transferred where warranted.

Other issues to consider in relation to pensions include the possibility of nominating death benefits to your former partner, despite a divorce, and the sharing of a lump sum on retirement, altering the pension benefits.  If foreign pensions are an issue, these will need special care as many of them will not be subject to English Law.

We have a family business; how will that be affected?

Deciding on what to do with the family business on divorce or dissolution can be fraught with huge financial as well as emotional implications. 

You and your partner will ultimately need to decide whether or not the business should be sold. If it is to be retained, you need to decide which of you should continue to run the business and come to an agreement about the level of compensation which should be paid to the other partner. 

There could be dispute where both parties have genuinely contributed equally to the business, particularly where there has been a long marriage.  There is often a need to look for commercially realistic alternatives to a sale or transfer of the business.

In any settlement, account must be taken of the other assets within the marriage to ensure that the future risk that may be inherent in the business is shared out by a fair division of assets.

We will look at all of the options available to you, often enlisting the help of financial experts who add valuable market insight and practical advice.

I am in the Armed Forces; can you help with my divorce?

 If you are serving in the police or the military services, you may have specific issues which need to be carefully considered such as service accommodation, education and in particular pensions which can often be of an extremely complex nature. We have helped many clients who serve in the armed forces through their divorce cases, as well as offering advice on separation, prenuptial agreements and civil partnership issues.  As many of our clients are often posted abroad, we try to offer full communication flexibility through the use of our Skype and email facilities to provide you with advice as and when required.

We are not married and wish to separate; do I have any rights?

If you are not married, but living together, you may not be protected under English law. It is worth taking specific advice on your situation however as you may have acquired rights under trust or property law. There may also be claims that can be made for your children.

What about my children?

Many parents are able to agree arrangements for their children without any outside involvement, but if that is not possible, then we can help to negotiate an agreement.  

As parents you are usually best advised to consider alternatives to court to sort out issues relating to your children, such as mediation, counselling or collaborative law. However, if you are not able to resolve the situation then you can ask the court for help. We will advise you of all of the options available to you, prioritising the best interests of your children at all times.

My partner is violent towards me; what can I do?

Domestic abuse can affect many intimate and ‘family type’ relationships and can take the form of not only physical violence, but also, in a sexual, psychological or financial capacity. If you are a victim of domestic violence and you feel unable to remain in your home and the situation is urgent, we can advise you on finding safe accommodation. The police have specialist domestic abuse units and will respond instantaneously to requests for assistance. The courts also have significant powers to protect the victims of domestic abuse and their children. If you need protection from your abuser, we can help you to obtain an injunction from the court, if necessary.  You can be assured that we will be able to provide you with quick and confidential advice about your options in this situation.

What should I bring to the first meeting?

• Your marriage certificate (if applicable)
• Any correspondence that you have had with your partner or their solicitors
• Any court papers you have received
• Your passport and a recent utility bill (to enable us to deal with identification requirements)
• Information about you and your partner's nationality and country of residence
• A statement containing your full name, address and date of birth and that of your partner and any dependent children whether your own or your partner's
• A schedule setting out your assets and income and those of your partner (if known)